Crusader Kings II¹ is suddenly starting making a lot of sense.

My elderly petty king, Áed Ua Conchobair, better known as King Áed I of Connacht, is now tearing through Ireland, having made decades of clodding mistakes in his earlier years. He’s creating spurious claims on every territory around him, assassinating untrustworthy vassals, and steadily swallowing the island up.

It’s a pity about Áed’s eldest grandson, though. Tadg threw his own wife (who happens to be William the Conqueror’s daughter) in prison after Áed finally relented to giving him his own title and lands. When old Áed dies (given that he’s 84, it won’t be long) I’m going to have to play as this fucking clot, because he’s next in line of my proto-dynasty.

Cecilia, you see, is key to our claim to the English crown. Oh hang on. Cecilia of England had a lover called Richard de Conteville. That would explain some things. Still, I’m not looking forward to having to be Tadg, the douche. Quite how he’s going to amass the lands I need to generate an army big enough to take on England, I don’t know. Still, it’s only 1099. There’s everything to play for.